First Year of Married Life: What I’ve Learned

Our first wedding anniversary is on Monday! I just cannot believe that this year has passed by so quickly. Here is a list of things I’ve learned this past year in no certain order.1st Year of Marriage


  • Don’t talk to anyone about an argument until it hits the twenty-four hour mark. I used to call up my family/friends when I argued with my hubs to talk it out. We decided that we would use a 24 hour rule. If the argument lasts less than a day we won’t talk to anyone about it. If it extends into the next day then we can bring in outside help. This rule not only has helped us to deal with newlywed disagreements on our own, but also has made me realize that most of our arguments are short-lived.
  • If you happen to marry a man who will willingly clean the bathroom, and weed the garden then cook him lots of delicious food. He’s worth it.
  • He will mess up. You will mess up. Marry a good forgiver, and be one yourself.
  • I used to have a long list of what I wanted in a man. If I was advising a single woman now, I would include these things only: he loves the Lord, he is kind, and he makes you laugh. Those three things are what I have been most grateful for this year.
  • Baby fever is real, and does not abate.
  • Buying a pregnancy test will always be awkward. Just buy it online already.
  • Trust your husband. Trust his judgments. His insight. His ethic. Unless he’s wrong. Then call him out. There are two of you in this marriage for a reason.
  • You can both have rich friendships outside of your marriage. Invest in your friends.
  • Seek out things that delight your husband (like finding some traditional Hawaiian food smack dab in the middle of Nebraska).


About Myself

  • I talk in my sleep, laugh in my sleep, and get extremely angry if someone tries to wake me up (so he says).
  • I am not very good at rolling with the punches.
  • I need structure in my daily routine, but not too much structure.
  • I have baby fever. And puppy fever. Don’t lend me a parakeet or I might get parakeet fever too.



  • There are a few things that are worth paying a bit more money for, even on a tight budget: toilet paper, grass-fed beef, and a clothes drying rack (that won’t collapse under a load of towels).
  • No matter how painstakingly frugal you are in every other area of your budget, if you don’t get your eating out under control you’ll never have any extra money.
  • Budgets are no fun, but they allow you to have a peace of mind. Keep trying until you find something that works.

In Hindsight…

  • There are a few things you should never procrastinate on. Consider: changing your car brakes, saying “I’m sorry”, and training for a half-marathon.
  • When you leave on a trip for Christmas be sure that the fridge door is completely closed. Otherwise you will arrive home to the odious smell of half of a rotten turkey decomposing in your fridge, and cry as you lug a trash bag full of food out the door.

What are a few things you have learned in the past year? What would you add to this list?

8 thoughts on “First Year of Married Life: What I’ve Learned”

    1. Nina, it took me awhile, but once I stopped talking it out with others (unless it hit the 24 mark) our relationship got a lot stronger. It’s one of the best things we have done for our relationship!

  1. Hi Bethany,

    I really enjoy your blog and this post is very relatable, my husband and I have been married now for a little over a year. I definitely agree with your, “He will mess up. You will mess up. Marry a good forgiver, and be one yourself.”

    Yes, for sure! I’m a sinner and I married one. We need a lot of forgiveness and grace. The more freely I give it, the more freely I receive it.

    I’ve also learned to check myself before I check my husband. Or fix what I’m doing wrong before pointing out what he needs to work on. Usually I’m so excited by my own growth I just focus on the positive.

  2. I love this, Bethie: “these things only: he loves the Lord, he is kind, and he makes you laugh.”
    So true and such a great message for young ladies. SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!

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