Over a year ago I went up a mountain trail as a girlfriend, and came down a fiancee. As with so many things in life, I was totally unprepared for the massive event that was soon to be coming my way: a wedding. The first step of which was, of course, choosing our wedding date.
Warrior Man and I sat down in the forest of Wyoming a few weeks after becoming engaged, and figured out when to have our wedding. We didn’t want to have it too soon to college starting again, but we also wanted to have it late enough in the summer that he could go home to Hawaii and work a few months. So we picked a Saturday in late July, and called it good. We were relieved at having made that decision. We high-fived, and patted ourselves on the back for being so punctual.
In the year leading up to my wedding, I learned A LOT about wedding planning, and the first thing I would tell myself if I could talk to that newly engaged gal back in August 2014 would be to take different things into consideration before choosing our wedding date.
[Tweet “Read This Before Choosing Your Wedding Date #wedding #weddingplanning”]
If you are trying to decide when to set the day for your wedding here are some things I wish I would have considered.
1. Get Married in the Off-Season
If you are having guests come from far away, or you are planning a destination wedding then choose a date in the off season. Warrior Man and I had a lot of people coming from Hawaii for the wedding, and I wish, I wish, I wish we would have thought about that when we planned it. There are many times of year (October, February, April) when tickets are A LOT cheaper than in the middle of summer. This awesome website will tell you {for free!} when it is cheapest to fly, and when to roadtrip instead. Also, our honeymoon money would go a lot further if we had chosen a different month than July to get married.
2. Choose Your Venue First
Do you want to have an outdoor wedding? Then you probably shouldn’t get married in the middle of summer or winter. Is the Plaza booked until two years from now? Then you probably won’t be getting married this fall. If your venue is important to you, plan around it.
3. Consider Your Colors
Are you a gal who loves pastel colors, and plans on decking your bridesmaids out in peachy pinks and muted greens? Then spring might be a good choice for you. Or is your closet filled with jewel tones–rich purple, amber, and forest greens? Then autumn is your best bet! I, personally, really struggled with my color choice (another post for another day) but eventually settled on bright cobalt blue–which fit perfectly with my mid-summer wedding.
4. Remember Your Cycle
Ladies, no one wants to be uncomfortable on their wedding day so take this into consideration. ‘Nuff said.
5. Don’t Try to Please Everyone
One of my good friends was overseas during the wedding and couldn’t make it, my eldest brother and his wife became pregnant and were due the week of my wedding and couldn’t make the trip, and a lot of our church family was at the wedding of another gal who got married on the same day. The point is, there is no way to get every single person you care about there on your special day. That is okay. That’s what pictures are for! Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to make sure your wedding fits into everyone’s schedule, because it won’t (unless you have a small wedding or, you know, elope).
That about sums up what I wish I would have considered way back when {a year ago}.
Here are a few more posts you might be interested in:
15 Things to Put on Your Wedding Registry
10 Things That Went Wrong in My Wedding
Honeymoon in Chicago: What You Need to Know
What about you? Are you currently planning a wedding? Do you have any advice for someone who is? I would love to hear your tips!
Great advice! We’re not engaged yet, but want to get married soon, so I’m reading up as much advice as I can get!
Glad you enjoyed this post, Nina!
I think there is a balance that needs to be struck between picking the time that is right for you and your relationship as a couple and being considerate of others. I think I would have preferred a Fall wedding, but when you’re in college that is hard. So Mitch and I went with the time that was best for our relationship (we didn’t want a long engagement): December 18th. It was RIGHT after finals (should have rethought that) and shortly before Christmas. Other than stressing about finals right before hand, it worked out perfect. We were able to fit in a great Florida honeymoon (in the off season) before Christmas festivities. However, we were lucky that there was not a blizzard, or most of our guests would not have been able to make it. Also, my mom kept wanting to make it Christmas-themed. We did dark green, silver, and peach as our colors. The peach didn’t really fit the season, but we didn’t want things to look Christmasy. . . Oh man, hindsight really is 20/20. But the wedding is the wedding. The beautiful part is the marriage! 🙂
I think you are absolutley right, Nathana! College definitely puts a crimp on wedding planning. A big part of the reason we got married in July was so that 1. We would have a few months to work summer jobs before getting married. 2. So we would have a good month of being married before school started up again. I know a lot of people get married right after finals so their friends are still in York, and can come to the wedding. You were a crazy girl to get married so close to finals, but I applaud you for balancing all of that! Even if peach didn’t fit the season, if it was the color you wanted then I am glad you went for it. Better to have a peach themed wedding in December that you loved rather than feeling like you have to do a Christams-y theme just because its expected. I wish I would have known everything about wedding planning I do now. I am looking forward to walking alongside friends and family and maybe helping them avoid some of the mistakes I made. 🙂
No wedding planned. Been there, done that more than 20 years ago.
I can offer advice to have a backup plan. While we all wish to have a certain somebody stand up for us or walk us down the isle, always prepare for the day that someone might turn ill or just not bother to show up!
When this happens, you’ll want a backup person to fill in. Yes, it’s true — some people aren’t as reliable as we like to think. 🙂
– Bonnie
That is an excellent point, Bonnie! Being as prepared for the unexpected as possible is such a good way of looking at a wedding. I didn’t think about having back-ups for the important figures in our wedding! My hubs is from Maui, and one of his groomsmen ended up being unable to fly over for our wedding so we had uneven bridesmaids vs groomsmen (five bridesmaids, and four groomsmen) it was so close to the wedding, and the suits had already been ordered so I decided not to try to ask a groomsmen to step in at the last minute. But things like that do happen a lot and backups would always be a great idea!
These are great tips! I had to laugh at number 4. I was totally zooming in on that when it was time to plan my wedding!!! lol
Ha ha! I debated whether to actually write that one down, Camesha, but in the end I figured it had to be said, if somewhat delicately. 😉
Great tips! Glad that cobalt blue worked for you!
I was thinking how wise you were not to try to suit everyone. My great niece planned her wedding about five days after I went back to the Middle East and I was so upset. She knew that I adored her and I’d say until I purposely got past it, I was quite hurt – even after I learned that was the only date available for the reception or something. I’d have never voiced that to her but it was just how I felt. And how silly! I guess because our wedding was so simple and no family was there since it was overseas. I didn’t see all the elements it took to bring a real wedding together.
Did you just have your first wedding anniversary a few months ago?
Thanks for the post!
Amy
I understand why you would be upset, Amy. That would be very hard! There are so many parts to planning a wedding it can be hard to get everything the way the bride wishes it would be. I am sure she wished you could’ve been there! I thought about putting off my wedding when I found out my sis-in-law was due the same week, but it just would have caused a lot of problems to try to wait that long (once college started up again it would be hard to fit in a wedding). So, sometimes, the wedding just has to get done.
We actually just got married a few months ago. The year I was referring to was a year ago I became engaged, and started wedding planning. 🙂
I have no wedding planned… yet! But when my other half and I do decided it’s the right time, I shall be sure to take these tips into account. I’d never thought about colour scheme and the time of year as important but it sounds like a no brainer when you put it like that! Thanks for sharing xx
Thanks for reading, Emma! My best piece of advice is to just enjoy the process. And have a smaller wedding so you can go somewhere fun on your honeymoon. 🙂
No wedding planned. My one and only wedding was done somewhat on the cheap and was a small wedding in my best friend’s apartment. (And yes, she was still my friend afterwards). My advice is: Simpler is better – take the money you save and put it towards a down payment on a house or to help pay off student loans or for something that will benefit both of you long term.
Great advice, Alana. I love hearing about your wedding–it must have been so sweet and special. I think weddings, as a whole, are far too elaborate in our culture. Even trying to plan a simple wedding was tough.
Lots of wise points in this list! As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Great post, Bethie!
Ha ha! Hindsight really is 20/20. Planning a wedding for the first time is so bewildering. Thank goodness it is “one and done”. I feel like for Malia’s wedding we will be cool as cucumbers. Right, Mom? Right?